every little things.

every little things that happen to us,
is a lesson to learn.
every little tears that we shed,
is a lesson to learn.
every laughter we laughed,
is a moment to cherish.
ever sadness that we felt,
is a moment to be remembered.

everytime we meet someone,
its' a new experience.
everytime we say goodbye,
its another new experience.
everytime someone enters our life,
its a learning process.
but when someone leaves our life,
learning process still continues.

if we dont learn, we wont be able to improve. If we dont improve, we end up hurting someone else like how we hurt the previous ones. I learnt mine, and I hope you learnt too. 

Jenny

back to life.

Well, i can see that this week including last week's post is all about me and my emo post and all the crap with truths here and there.. so i decided to put those things behind and start blogging my real life.

so currently, am doing my practical in a primary school which i kinda like the environment. quiet, peaceful and the teachers were super nice and friendly. i mean they share everything with me and resources? u name it.. it just seem like i do not have to prepare much but worksheets. Hehe.. anywayz, my kids were pretty good.. pretty good as in they understand my lesson content but sometimes i forgot that they are just yr 2 kids whom i need to lower my English speaking level.

I guess that's my problem. I find it easier to deal with adults coz we are of the same par. but if kids, aigoo~~ i need to seriously be back to kids.. haha.. though there were some lazy ones and talkative ones, but i can say that overall my kids for this phase of practicum is quite good. and somehow it makes me life easier a bit compared to last practical. 

anywayz, gotta leave this post now.. will update more on the next post..

Jenny

Honesty.

truth?
is it always that hard to give and accept?
is honesty really the loneliest word?

since i have been finding out truths here and there, i think i should be honest too.
i hate being second place.
i hate being someone's comfort zone.
i hate being treated like i needed all the attention while you people do not need me at all.
i hate how i wasted my tears.
i hate the reasons why i thought you people are the "nicest people" in the world and then showed me your true faces at the end of the day.
and now, thanks to you people who made me felt that way,
i am going to lock myself up like how i did previously.

i dont need you people's apologies.
i need you poeple to sit and think how guilty you people should feel for treating me this way.

Jenny

another truth?

another truth uncovered.

painful.

cried.

thought of it.

stopped.

smiles.

found the real reason of moving on.

no apologies needed.

i knew it from the start.

Jenny~

the truth.

all these years, i have been searching for the truth.
the truth that have been haunting me till now,
and today i finally knew it..
how did i felt?
happy? no.
sad? no.
disappointed? no.

i felt nothing.
i felt like it wasn't the main reason.
i felt like there should be more than that.
I felt like I can't accept it.
I can't accept the fact that you ditched me behind because of that one simple reason.
It was you who created the whole thing.
And yet, you were the one who left me in the whole mess.
And that's the only reason you're giving me for ditching me at the first place?

just by thinking about it make me sad.
make me felt like we should have not even met.
we should have not exchanged number.
i should have not met you.
and you should have not make me felt that way.

should never.
Jenny~

the bus.

some ppl say love is like waiting for the bus,
sometimes we missed the bus bcoz we were too late or we were too busy too remind ourselves to keep watching the bus,
sometimes when the right bus arrives, there were so many obstacles to get on it,
sometimes, we got on to it and realise that it wasn't the bus that we wanted to get on,
sometimes, we didn't even get the chance to ride on it at all..

and then we spend our time waiting for the right bus,
but one person told me that, even if the right bus came and try to leave,
we must gather our courage and chase for it..
but sometimes chasing ends in disappointment,
and we end up being at square one,
waiting for the next bus.

in my case,
i got on to the first bus, but realised something was missing,
i got off and then took another bus in which i thought i would travel in it,
but it was the wrong bus and it cause much pain for me to walk back to the first stop.
then another bus came,
thinking it was the right bus, i took my courage to get on it..
it brought me to many beautiful places but one day, the bus left me,
i chased after it but it didn't stop.
and now, i'm walking back to my first stop.
and wait for the next bus.

Jenny~

being me.

being me is never easy.
being me is something that only i can do.
being me is mysterious.
but the real question here is,
do you or should i say,
can you accept me as me being me?

random~
Jenny~

sharing.

This is something that i grabbed in facebook.

somehow, it relates to me so much that i find the need to share it in blogger as well.

well, i dont think i have to explain it in my blog right since the pictures could do all the explanation.

but i hope that one day i could end happily like the last picture and would not have to lock my heart in my treasure chest anymore. =)

Jenny~

woots~

Wow, its been quite a while for me not updating this blog after i left this blog with quite an emo post.. Well, its those time of the day so yeah, emo post is definitely a yes-yes.. Anywayz, time to update about life...

first and foremost, lectures has ended and its time for practical.. something that i dread the most since it spells stress, heavy workloads, numerous observations, scoldings, annoyance from here and there, and not forgetting, the countless nights of insomnia.. Whatever shall be, shall be.... =(

anywayz, raya holidays is coming soon and i cant wait to go home.. and actually i'm counting on the dates to go home.. haha.. and of course, with all the stuffs that i'm handling, am really trying to keep a balance of it.. 

and finger-crossed, may whatever I do will be granted and will prove fruitful not only to me but also to those who are depending on my actions.. =)

Well, i dont know what else to update but for now, life feels much better compared to last semester.. yes, i do look behind once in a while but right now, it feels so good to more one step forward.. =)

Jenny~

once upon a time.

once upon a time, they were two strangers who doesnt know one another.

then they became friends who always argue and made fun of one another.

then they became closer when they started to comfort one another and make sure one another is feeling ok.

they became even closer when they made sure one another is ok and always smiling with all the care and love shown.

and then one day, the cupid shot his arrows on them and they got together.

when they were together, time felt like it was too short for them.

they loved, laughed, cried, argued but eventually they became one.

when they thought their love would last and ended the way they imagined, it didnt.

eventually he decided and eventually she decided too.

they went their own ways. 

she was hurt. he? she doesnt know.

she cried to sleep. he? she doesnt know.

she hid all the tears through smiles. he? she doesnt know.

she made sure she looked strong. he? she doesnt know.

she made sure never to turn back but eventually she turned. he? she doesnt know.

she missed him. he? she doesnt know.

she wished things didnt turn this way. he? she doesnt know.

and then they were back to friends.

and then back to strangers again.

but the difference is they are now strangers with memories.

back to square 1.

Jenny~

my fav artist..

these dew days, i have been crazy about this Korean artist, Roy Kim..
see, i'm mentioning him again in this post..
but i love his songs and i managed to download his whole album..
all his songs are so nice and it just made me smile...
even though i dont know what they mean, but the feelings and vibes that he gives in all his songs just touches me and made me smile..
for those who wanna try out listening his songs, u can find his album in this link: http://k2nblog.com/album-roy-kim-love-love-love-vol-1/ ...

i guess why i love this artist so much is not really on his looks,
instead on how his songs make me feel the feeling that i haven't felt for some time,
the feeling that i felt once but lost in some point of my life,
the feeling that once made me so happy but somehow lost in the whole journey of life,
the feeling that i want to feel again but somehow afraid,
the feeling that just makes me feel undecided,
the feeling,
of 
being 
able 
to fall in love.

Jenny~

July..

today is the first day of July..
which signifies only a few things:
2 weeks before practicum (o.m.g)
1 month before Raya holidays which equally means going home (o.y.e.a.h)
and also a few days before allowance enters (o.s.u.p.e.r. y.e.a.h!)
and yeah, i am extremely excited on the allowance part since i have already planned on my checklist aka my list to buy..
but due to practicum, somehow i have to put everything on hold..
and this is sad...
seriously sad..

and why do i feel sad again?
bcoz of practicum..
practicum has never been easy these days and with strict supervisors,
life is never easy..
but these are what i call challenges so yeah, am gonna face it well, i think?
sigh...
so much to buy and yet so little money to use..
but anyhow, i am looking forward to practicum and pray that i am able to do better this time for my results..
and i am really looking forward to home.. =)

Jenny~