quitting

sometimes, i felt like giving up..
not because i am not good in it,
but i feel like i'm not using it much particularly in this environment..
during the whole time of practical, i keep doubting myself..
i know this career,
and i love this career..
but not on dealing with kids...

i face problems with dealing kids..
i dont know how to be like them,
maybe because since i was small, i was trained to think maturely,
and maybe because when i was still a kid, i dont get the chance to enjoy childhood like everyone else..
everyone had their own memories of being a kid,
but me?
i only remember spending my time watching Sesame Streets, reading storybooks or any books and doing role play by being a teacher teaching imaginary students..
and even those imaginary students are not kids..

sigh..
facing challenges to just getting the kids to listen to me had been quite a headache and somehow demotivates me one way or another..
but everytime when i thought of quitting,
i thought back about my teachers who have taught me since i was a kid till now..
if they had given up on me, i am pretty sure i would not be in today's place..
thinking and appreciating their hard work in emulating me into the person i am now,
i held on strong and keep my head high..
coz i know if i give up, then other would also do the same thing,
and by then, who else would groom these future generations?
i guess all i can do is keep on thinking positive,
and knowing that every test is given by God in life to make us stronger and to show to us that its time to grow up.

Jenny~