back to reality.

after a week of holidays, its time to face da harsh reality = EXAM... exam is a word that evryone dread and hates to hear.. well, to look it at a positive side, its one of da ways to actually see where we stand in our studies and to prove that we can actually use and implement what we hav studied.. but when we look at da negative side, exam simply means a death sentence to us.. well, for me, examination cannot be avoided no matter how u c.. i mean exams don juz come in studies but throughout our life.. thrs so many trials and it depends on our own determination and will to overcome it..

for me, exam is frightenin and da thought of it juz makes me shiver.. but i guess its da will tat makes me stay hold on to my books and try to revise as much as i could and eventually do my best for da test.. dont reli wanna get emotional breakdwon again and this time, im gonna go thru it in a good mood and spirit, i hope.. nevertheless, i wanna wish evryone includin my piggy, all da best in exam.. may God bless all of us and help us to achieve what we aimed for.. hehe...

=luck=
Jenny~

smile.

finally, wat i wished for was realised.. my piggy is back! and i spent like so much time wit him and it was so much fun.. i juz miss those moments a lots and yeah, i was reli happy coz being able to see him again and spend lotsa time wit him.. and of course, this will sure boost up my confidence and my will to study for my reli near exam..

and i love my piggy more and more evryday.. *hearts*

=love u=
Jenny~

waiting

exams coming and yes, im waiting for it to get over with.. though am not fully prepared and havent even revise for other subjects, but i had this will tellin myself that i can do it this time and that by da time da test come, im already fully prepared.. and da only thing i can hope for is that may i dont get panic during exam and forget evrythin.. nevertheless, nervous still there especially on phonetics paper.. sigh.. well, i'll juz hav to study as much as possible and most importantly, using my luck to get over wit tat paper..

but b4 exam, im waitin for a good getaway with my piggy.. and for that, i super hope that evrythin will go well and at least let me hav a bit fun b4 gettin back to these hectic environment filled with books, notes, ppt slides and of course brains... =)

=piggy=

Jenny~

hols. =(

oct hols is here and like wat is expected, evryone had went back home to celebrate da hols wit their families and loved ones.. but hols doesnt reli means hols when exams is waitin after it.. but i think it would be of great fun and enjoyment for them to spend da hols at their original comfort zone, with their families and loved ones instead of gettin stuck here wit da condition whr water is difficult to predict its availability...

as for me, i took da decision of not goin back bcoz i reli wanna focus on my studies here.. i mean gettin too comfy wit my comfort zone tends to make me lazy so i took tis daring decision to stay here though money is a little bit uptight.. but i think i can wait till da long hols.. my piggy went for holidays and comin back soon to spend time wit me.. and i simply cant wait for tat.. i think im gonna miss him a lot.. huhu.. and i think im missing home too when evryone is goin back.. sigh. its ok, i juz hav to bear for a few days and then i will be able to hang out wit him again.. hope evrythin will go well for me and for others.. =)

=missing u already=

Jenny~

piggy,

i love my piggy more and more each day.. <3

sigh.

i cannot study without updating my blog... sigh... i guess period is coming and my mood is swinging up and down, left to right.. and of course tats da time for me to think like a lot, cried for no apparent reason and flared up for basically lil matters.. and of course, i gotta apologise for da stuffs that im gonna be doin coz u noe, i cant control my mood...

and one little thing bout me, im super unlucky when i plan.. coz my plans never work out da way it should.. which is why i rarely plan early or loves to plan last minute.. at least by then, i noe my plan would not be spoiled or disrupted by coincidence... sigh...

=sigh=
Jenny~

sheesh.

words kill people's enthusiasm.. and thanx to ur criticisms, someone's got humiliated and hurt by ur words...
so thank u.. =.=

=pathetic=
Jenny~

forget.

today was a good day.. i mean i left all my anger and frustration at da previous post so yeah, im back to me again... in a good mood except for da constant yawning and muscle aches.. but evrythin went well so far.. hehe.. so in conclusion, i forgive those who made me angry unintentionally and though ppl say its easy to forgive but difficult to forget, i think forgettin is da easiest part for me.. i mean i juz nid some good sleep and yeap, totally forget da bad memories.. hehe..

=forget=

Jenny~

today.

today was super exhausting... we had hockey competition and of course my class was involved in handling and organising it together with our juniors.. and honestly, it wasnt fun like last time organising volleyball competition.. well, i dont wanna complain but i think i hav my rights to talk bout several stuffs that i been through da whole noon...

1. da weather was so hot that it burns u everyone physically and mentally.. and da worst part is playing under da super hot sun for 6 minutes is like torture for me whose so not prepared at all.. and i noe that my team are like so inexperienced in playin hockey and that we still need time to actually learn from our weaknesses.. and for your information, we were juz asked to play to fulfill da participation.. so its not like we wanna play for fun and lose happily ok... so to those who kept talkin bout our bad skills and bla bla bla, shut ur damn f***ing mouth...

2. da weather is hot and of course it make ppl feel hot physically and mentally... but tats not a reason to mock ppl's race by saying like that.. i think im kind enough of not shouting at u on da spot.. i mean da weather and ur sickness is not da main reason for saying us like that.. and most important point here is we did slow down when u look at us wit tat face.. and when we actually shouted was bcoz ur classmate which is mine too nearly causes chaos.. and there u go, judgin us by tat incident.. try standin at our position and get ur race mocked at... sheesh..

so, to those who worked hard today, good job everyone.. at least all da hard work pays off today.. to those who talked bad behind and in front of us, thanx for da criticisms.. we will owes remember it and will improve it... and to those who didnt use their brain before talking, da brain is up there for u to use it... and finally, to da one who supported me though i played so bad, me love love u.. hehe.. <3

=exhausted=
Jenny~

sigh.

all i wanna do is go to ur room and take care of u..

Jenny~

move.

i moved on and im happy u moved on..
and this time, ur name and evrythin bout u will be erased completely..
thanx for da wonderful n dark past..
now im leaving those behind..
and moving on wit wat i have now,
which is so much and far more better than wat u gave me..

thanx for da coldness and loneliness u gave me in da past,
it taught me a lot,
thanx for tryin to find da key,
and lucky for me tat u din find it at all.

and now im happy wit da light tat found me,
da light tat makes me feel contented wit evry single moment,
da light tat makes me forget evry single piece of u,
and da light that constantly remind me that he will not leave me alone.

that's wat i need. someone who will not leave me all alone. someone who needs me like how i need him. someone that makes me feel secure. someone whose not ashamed of me. someone who treats me as a pillow to hug when he's happy or sad, instead of searching me when needed and throwin me away when not needed. and someone who loves me as much as i love him.

guess wat? i found him when i moved out from da past.

=i love my light=
Jenny~

princess.

i love browsing wedding dresses thru internet.. i mean wedding dresses make u feel like a princess when u wore it so i might as well as shared several tat caught my attention.. simple and yet elegant.. woots2x...

=i love weddings=

Jenny~

sorry.

well, after havin a wonderful sleep right after calling, now this is me.. feeling much more better than last nite and for sure, with no more anger inside, i juz feel much more lighter.. i guess at times i juz need to cry when i needed to like what is shown in da pics.. i admit im a crybaby.. i mean i cry at da slightest pain or even by watching movies where thrs all da touching scenes which are tear-jerking.. haha.. well, i juz cant control myself from crying ok.. its not a sign im weak or wat, but at times i feel so much more better after crying all out..

to my dear, sorry.. sorry for saying da word sorry again.. haha.. sorry for feeling so insecure with myself.. sorry for not being confident about my look and get intimidated when others are prettier than me.. sorry for making u see my weaker side.. and sorry for havin to listen to my crying(s)..

=i dont wana lose u=
Jenny~

jealousy?

ok, got da inspiration and TA--DAAAA, its about jealousy.. i mean all of us are jealous of something.. its either someone is much more prettier than u, hav a nicer legs than u, hav a slimmer figure than u, can sing better than u and i mean LOTSA.. and of course, if ur a human, u cant run away from jealousy.. and of course, i am jealous when it comes to certain matter.. and i think its been a long time since i got so jealous till i went into such a bad mood in which get cured on da spot.. haha..

ppl are jealous bcoz they cant get wat they want.. ppl jealous bcoz they noe they cant do anythin with themselves.. ppl are jealous bcoz they believe that they juz simply cant change da facts.. well, im jealous bcoz of my insecurities and lack of confidence on myself.. remember da ugly duckling? im da ugly duckling and u might see me boosting wit confidence but hey, im weak n fragile inside too... so why am i jealous today? well, leave it to me and myself to know it... but wat i noe is im juz not confident wit myself.. no matter wat, i juz feel like im da ugly duckling tat havent grown into da pretty swan.. even my mom told me that im pretty bcoz of my eyes and personality, my physical looks? "SO SO nia"...

well, i guess i still need time to boost my confidence on my beauty or physical looks.. and sorry if my jealousy and explosive anger juz scared u away.. haha.. tats particularly da real me and i think showing it to u is so much better than me keepin it and exploding da next day which will make me even sadder and down, down, down... anywayz, mood gettin better and time to hit da books...

=im jealous coz i don wanna lose u=
Jenny

today.

well, today is juz like any other normal days where we woke up early, go to class, and havin lectures depending on the availability of da lecturers and den go back, rest and yeah, have some time on its own.. well, BIG phase 2 has been completed by doin community service at SK. Bunga Raya where we carry huts, chop down trees, drawing mural and of course da best part for me is to hav LOTSA coconuts! haha.. there were like so many coconuts and i was like feasting on it.. haha.. next, UAK is comin and its on nxt monday.. kinda worried but got da confidence and enthusiasm to study so i guess its not a burden after all.. next, finals will be comin nxt mth and of course am not prepared.. well, im worried like a lot on da phonetics part.. i mean im reli bad in it and dependin on luck is not wat i hold these days..

well, preparations will be done soon, maybe after UAK.. hehe.. and then thrs upcomin class dinner like evry year and kinda confused on wat to wear tat night.. mayb simple but elegant? or mayb simple, casual and a lil sexy? depends la.. hehe.. and last but not least, plannings for events in my head is goin on and hopefully im able to accomplish it wit my current budget.. hmm, c how la.. anywayz, yeah, juz updates bout me currently.. doesnt hav any inspiration to write emo or sweet posts juz yet.. haha...

=updating=
Jenny

my heart.

my heart is perfect when u appeared.. =)

=love=
Jenny~

oct

september has come to an end and october has reached...
may october be a good mth for all of us,
may it strengthen us esp for us whoe gonna be takin exam soon,
may it bring happiness to those whose broken,
may it helps us to forgive and forget...

and of course,
may oct be another memorable mth to me and him..

=love=
Jenny~