myself

yeap, am a normal human being...
yeap, i dont know what everyone around me felt, or went through..
and i definitely is not in the place to tell the people around me what to do or what they should feel..
because everyone of us are free to decide what to do with their lives or felt what they should felt..

being 21 (not 22 just yet),
makes me feel as if i have went through so many things...
when the fact is,
i did not went through as much as someone else might have been going through all this while..
i tell people about this and that,
but in the end, i couldnt even help myself up..
all i could do to help myself,
is to tell myself what i should do and what i should not do..
telling myself to be strong with what i have chosen and stick on to it like a super glue..
telling myself not to change what i have decided for the fear of failure..
smiling and laughin, making people see how strong or easy going person, just to cover the wounds and tears i have inside, 
and locking myself in a corner without people being aware of what i actually feel inside..

previous posts, i have mentioned the same thing...
its not easy being me..
i might not know how difficult u must have felt,
but u might also not know how difficult i felt everyday in my life..
i might not know what troubles everyone around me,
but everyone around me might not know what is troubling me all this while..
i might not know those little things about people,
but no one knows how little things meant for me..
all this while, being enclosed in my own space and protecting myself,
sometimes felt tiring.

but in the end, i only have myself.
Jenny~